Smells good!
As Thanksgiving fast approaches,
I can’t help but wonder how couples out there are spending their holidays. It’s a topic that can go in any number of directions and in surveying some of my friends, they’re all doing something different; some are going to the houses of their families, some are venturing to their in-laws and some are foregoing family altogether and are opting to spend time with close friends.
My husband and I often joke that we really got lucky in the in-law department. We’re very fortunate in the fact that we both enjoy each other’s families. I know what you’re thinking and no, I’m not just writing this for the sake of the blog (which I know his family will probably read). We truly love each other’s families. We really do! Really!
But when you first start dating someone or become engaged, the conversation about where to spend Holidays is a little rocky.
How do you decide where you’ll go? Do your parents get disappointed that you’re not there to celebrate with them? How will his family feel about having you there? Do you forego the decision altogether and each go your separate ways? Or do you do something together, just as a couple?
When Tom and I first started dating, we spent Holidays apart. I can remember missing spending that time with him, but also didn’t want to give up the time with my own family. When we got engaged, that all changed. We began to realize that now and going forward we’d need to split the time among both our families. Last year we celebrated Thanksgiving with my family in Delaware and we flew to sunny Florida to spend Christmas with his family. While I loved spending the week in the pool, I couldn’t help but feel a little home-sick and a little guilty about missing the time with my family; after all, it was the first Christmas in 28 years that I’ve ever missed.
So when the Holiday conversation approached this year, we were pretty set on what we wanted to do. We’d split the Holidays again and this time, flip flop them. Our bags are packed for sunny FL; we leave on Tuesday. It seemed like the right thing to do for us and we’re happy that our families are so flexible. I’m looking forward to cooking dinner with my husband and my Mother in Law and chatting with my Father in Law over a glass or two of wine. And now that my parents have moved to North Carolina, we’re looking forward to hosting Christmas for them in our house this year.
So what about you? Where are you spending the Thanksgiving Holiday? How did you decide where to go ?
Whatever you decided to do, have a safe and happy Turkey Day!
Great article! The Big Compromise. You and your husband are very lucky that you love your in-laws. Some are not so lucky. Now that my children are grown and all live nearby our biggest drama is what time to eat! Thankfully, (and this holiday is all about giving thanks) we have switched the dinner from Mom cooking it all to everyone bringing a dish. So much easier on Mom (hence, my very thankful status!) Here’s hoping everyone has a Blessed and Joyful Thanksgiving holiday!
I’m writing this from a mom’s perspective. At first you feel a bit depressed to realize that after years of having your son/daughter for every holiday, you are now going have to learn to share. But we have found that sharing can be fun and wonderful. Last year our daughter and her husband spent Christmas with his parents so here is what we did. We totally postponed Christmas until they got back and you know what…..it was just as much fun and just as meaningful. Dec 25th is just a day on the calendar, Christmas is within us….it’s all about who you are with and the memories you are making, no matter the date and no matter where you are……so make adjustments as necessary and enjoy the time together, no matter when it is…….
Thanks for commenting Kathy! It’s a great idea to ask everyone to bring a dish – takes some of the work out of it for the host!
Robbie – love your comment on making the memories regardless of the date