I was having drinks with a friend of mine last night when we got on the topic of her sparkling engagement ring. Any plans yet?, I asked, a seemingly innocent enough question, to which she responded with nary a detail. I suddenly felt like I was in a twilight zone of the anti-bride.

There have been quite a few welcome and celebrated engagements among friends recently and one detail became increasingly clearer after a glass of wine. Most of them were “30 somethings” and none of them are in a mad dash to the alter!

I asked my friend then to explain but first I had some questions.

Is it that you don’t want to plan it?
Is it that you want a small wedding?
Would you rather elope?
Are you getting pre-wedding cold feet?

The resounding no to all of these made me heave a sigh of relief, but I was still confused. Then she said, “I’m 36. We’ve been together for 6 years….we’ve been together this long, what’s the rush now?”

I’ve been reading articles recently about the “magic age” that contributes to a long lasting marriage. It seems that experts agree that when a woman marries after the magic age of 25-27, the marriage
is stronger and more fulfilling. Chalk it up to experience years, education and a feeling that you know yourself pretty well at that age and you’ve probably got yourself a recipe for happily ever after. Our
Grandmothers were right. Timing really is everything.

In NYC, the average woman is married well into her early 30s. They tend to be more career driven and decide to build a family later in life. There is nothing wrong with this. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense to me: my 30 something friends weren’t dashing their way to the alter but making a tortoise like, well thought out investment in each other and their futures, walk to forever.

Its all about timing and in this case slow and steady really might win the race!