Where am I going with all this?  Recently a friend of mine told me he was getting engaged.  Well this isn’t entirely true. A bystander asked him if he was married and he let slip, “Funny you should ask, – I’m actually going to propose tomorrow.”

He said this as though he was ordering a burger, hold the cheese with extra fries.  It didn’t seem like a big deal when he said it and to be honest, my perception was that it wasn’t a big deal to him.  I can understand maybe he didn’t want to make it seem like too much of a big deal because he was nervous or excited or thought she might say no, but as a good friend of his and of this soon to be engaged couple, I would have expected a bit more, shall we say, enthusiasm?

I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised then when she, the new fiancé didn’t even call the next day to announce the good news! I got a text message.  And only after I probed a bit to learn more.

Are we not as good a friends as I once thought? Were they not entirely enamored by one another and happy to share the news? Are they just taking this moment as one to share between the two of them?  Albeit annoyed, I respect their privacy, even though I wanted to celebrate for them by showering them with champagne and well-wishes, it made me think. How do most couples share their engagement news?

My hubby proposed at 2:00 a.m.m after a late flight home from a business trip.  We called everyone we knew who would answer their phone to shout out our excitement.  But maybe we’re different – to each their own, I always say.

So spill it – how’d you spread the news to your friends and family? Email? Text? Phone call?

Wide-eyed and embarrased, like I’d been caught stealing cookies, I said, “What? I didn’t hear you.”. Uh oh.

So, this whole scenario took me right back to wedding planning days when I was, well, you could say I was obsessed with planning our nuptials. These were pre-blackberry days, thankfully, and I was more obsesseed with spreadsheets, to do lists and the like than I was about my new fiance. I quickly learned, however, how important the “engagement” period is to your new lives together. Planning your wedding is an amazing experience that helps you grow closer with friends and family involved. But it can also be incredibly stressful and all consuming if you let it.

That said, my advice to all you blushing brides out there is this: set aside some precious time with your fiance where wedding talk is prohibited. Allow yourself some time to enjoy being engaged without the stress of linens, colors, flowers and invitations. You’ll miss these days when you’re an old married woman like me.

I’m kidding. I’m not old-yet. But I am married.

Why do we register for gifts? Why do we buy gifts from a registry? The whole purpose of this multi-billion dollar industry of wedding registries is to allow the couple to build their ‘nest’ on their own terms. While money is generous and fine in a pinch, receiving a beautifully wrapped and generous gift that you’ve already picked out is well, it’s fun.

It takes the guess work out of it for your guests and it ensures (to some degree) that you’ll actually get what you want and need.

So here they are:

A Kitchen Aid Stand mixer –

It doesn’t matter if you’re not a foodie. This genius of an invention makes your life so incredibly easy, you won’t be able to imagine life before it. From brownies to mashed potatoes, this amazing mixer will steal your heart and impress even the toughest of critics.

Everyday dishes –

Registering for fine China is great; you’ll pull it out on Thanksgiving and around the Holidays, but admit it. It’s too nice to reheat Chinese food on, which is why it’s called fine China. Register for a set of dishes that you can use everyday – for impromptu dinner parties, having your in-laws over for a homemade dinner, and that same night when you’ve undercooked the pork loin and made lumpy mashed potatoes and need to order Chinese. Not that I speak from experience or anything.

New towels –

- Admit it, we’ve all held on to those college towels for too long. When you and your fiancé moved in together or move in together, you’ll look at those stringy, dingy towels with disdain. Treat yourself to a dozen or more new towels, hand towels and wash cloths.

Crate and Barrel gift cards –

Yes. You can register for gift cards and you’ll be happy that you did. After the wedding when you’re all settled in and have returned some of the things you registered for because you realized you don’t have the room or you changed your mind, these amazing, never expiring and always fun to spend gift cards will make even the most mundane of errand days fun.

Home Depot gift cards –

- Yep – even Home Depot has a wedding registry. I know, took me a while to believe it too. If you’ve bought your dream home in place of an expensive wedding, like, say, me, you’re more concerned about laying that new granite countertop than you are a new set of China. And these things stretch far beyond the imagination can allow; new closets, ceiling fans, washer / dryer, dishwasher, you name it, you can buy it there.

So there you have it – my favorite things to register for. Whatever you decide to register for, make it fun, and make it about your new life together and most of all make sure you get a gift receipt.

I hate to fly.

Getting me on a plane requires weeks of motivation, encouragement and my poor, loving husband telling me, “Babe. You know that you’re safer in the air than on the ground.”

I know, I know. I get it. I just don’t like it.  Therefore, when I am asked to travel for work, I secretly hope that the location of the client site is within driving distance.  While most times my clients are located in places like Utah and Florida, all which are states too far for me to drive to, when my boss said, “Be in Pittsburgh on Monday”, I said, “Great! Can I drive?” The response, “I don’t care, just get there,” worked great for me!

I know that it only takes 1.5 hours by plane and takes six by car. I chose car and left my house at 4:45 a.m. My client, who left JFK at 9:00 a.m., thinks I was insane for driving, but everyone is entitled to his or her opinion. For me, it was the right choice. And for those of you keeping score at home, I arrived before she did.

During my six hour drive to Pittsburgh this morning I was thinking about the choices that all brides face throughout the wedding planning process and I was reminded of all the decisions and choices I faced just about two years ago. At nearly every turn, there is someone to say:

“I think you should…”
“If I were you…”
“You should really…”
“Did you think about…?”

While important to respect and value people’s opinions, ultimately your wedding day is all about you and your fiancé.  Don’t get hung up on the opinions of other people who’ve done it all before.  This is your wedding! This is your opportunity to choose. Sure, you might get a little bit of a weird look when you opt to carry balloons instead of a bouquet, but who cares? Choose what will make your day memorable and be happy with your decision.  You have many choices to make so choose YOUR choice! You’ll be happy that you did; I was!

So come on – spill it.  What choices are you making or have made that raised some eyebrows?