Turkey for you, Turkey for me – Turkey with whose family?

November 23rd, 2009

Smells good!

Smells good!

As Thanksgiving fast approaches,

I can’t help but wonder how couples out there are spending their holidays. It’s a topic that can go in any number of directions and in surveying some of my friends, they’re all doing something different; some are going to the houses of their families, some are venturing to their in-laws and some are foregoing family altogether and are opting to spend time with close friends.

My husband and I often joke that we really got lucky in the in-law department. We’re very fortunate in the fact that we both enjoy each other’s families. I know what you’re thinking and no, I’m not just writing this for the sake of the blog (which I know his family will probably read). We truly love each other’s families. We really do! Really!
But when you first start dating someone or become engaged, the conversation about where to spend Holidays is a little rocky.

How do you decide where you’ll go? Do your parents get disappointed that you’re not there to celebrate with them? How will his family feel about having you there? Do you forego the decision altogether and each go your separate ways? Or do you do something together, just as a couple?

When Tom and I first started dating, we spent Holidays apart. I can remember missing spending that time with him, but also didn’t want to give up the time with my own family. When we got engaged, that all changed. We began to realize that now and going forward we’d need to split the time among both our families. Last year we celebrated Thanksgiving with my family in Delaware and we flew to sunny Florida to spend Christmas with his family. While I loved spending the week in the pool, I couldn’t help but feel a little home-sick and a little guilty about missing the time with my family; after all, it was the first Christmas in 28 years that I’ve ever missed.

So when the Holiday conversation approached this year, we were pretty set on what we wanted to do. We’d split the Holidays again and this time, flip flop them. Our bags are packed for sunny FL; we leave on Tuesday. It seemed like the right thing to do for us and we’re happy that our families are so flexible. I’m looking forward to cooking dinner with my husband and my Mother in Law and chatting with my Father in Law over a glass or two of wine. And now that my parents have moved to North Carolina, we’re looking forward to hosting Christmas for them in our house this year.
So what about you? Where are you spending the Thanksgiving Holiday? How did you decide where to go ?

Whatever you decided to do, have a safe and happy Turkey Day!

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Should an moh ‘address the dress’?

November 21st, 2009

I’ve never been a Maid of Honor. I’ve been a Bridesmaid twice and I have a general sense of what it takes to be an effective Maid of Honor, but I haven’t been faced with the daunting task of catering to a Bride’s every whim. I was blessed with two of the best MOHs a bride could ask for; my sister Stacey and my best friend Amanda.

They are two MOHs who should be available for hire, but more on that later. Stacey, while not as overwhelmingly organized as Amanda, was sweet comic relief. So while she had never been a Bridesmaid before, let alone an MOH, she took the job with an infectious and often hilarious enthusiasm. She must have done a great job because her very good friend has asked her to be MOH for her 10/10/10 wedding. It must be said, and this is completely unrelated but weird, that Stacey’s friend, we’ll call her “Lois” comes from a history of “previously-married-drama”.

Let’s put it this way, Stacey met Lois when she was engaged to her first husband. Stacey also supported her through a divorce, new love, baby and now engagement #2. That’s what friends are for, right? So now Lois and her fiance are planning their 10/10/10 wedding and my sister is her MOH. She recently came to me for advice:

“HELP! Lois wants this color for Bridesmaid dresses; I hate it, but can I say that? I’m going to look like a giant pumpkin!! How can I tell her that I’d wear a trashbag to her wedding if she asked me too, but I’d prefer not to wear this color??”

Apparently, Lois has poor taste in Bridesmaid dress colors.

the pumpkin dress

For their October wedding Lois has chosen a color that screams chocolate covered pumpkin. With no regard for skin tone or hair color, this bride-to-be-again has chosen a color that is not at all flattering – on anyone. So what’s an MOH to do? Recently, I blogged that Brides need to ‘choose their choice’ and stick to it. Should Stacey address the dress or let the Bride choose? For this one, I’ll let you decide.

But ok – since you really want to know…she opted to share her thoughts via email.

“Lois – you know I’d wear a trashbag if you asked me too, but perhaps we can consider a color that would be flattering on all your bridesmaids.  I’ve got some  ideas on colors so I’ll bring pictures when I see you next weekend.”


What do you think about how she ‘addressed the dress’?

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Choose your choice – even if it results in a weird look or two

November 18th, 2009

balloonsI hate to fly. I am, however, required to travel often for work and I do so, but begrudgingly. Don’t get me wrong, I know all the stats about air travel being the safest form of transportation.  Nonetheless, I am deathly afraid of heights (side note, ask me about my Trapeze lesson. Yes, only one).

Getting me on a plane requires weeks of motivation, encouragement and my poor, loving husband telling me, “Babe. You know that you’re safer in the air than on the ground.”

I know, I know. I get it. I just don’t like it.  Therefore, when I am asked to travel for work, I secretly hope that the location of the client site is within driving distance.  While most times my clients are located in places like Utah and Florida, all which are states too far for me to drive to, when my boss said, “Be in Pittsburgh on Monday”, I said, “Great! Can I drive?” The response, “I don’t care, just get there,” worked great for me!

I know that it only takes 1.5 hours by plane and takes six by car. I chose car and left my house at 4:45 a.m. My client, who left JFK at 9:00 a.m., thinks I was insane for driving, but everyone is entitled to his or her opinion. For me, it was the right choice. And for those of you keeping score at home, I arrived before she did.

During my six hour drive to Pittsburgh this morning I was thinking about the choices that all brides face throughout the wedding planning process and I was reminded of all the decisions and choices I faced just about two years ago. At nearly every turn, there is someone to say:

“I think you should…”
“If I were you…”
“You should really…”
“Did you think about…?”

While important to respect and value people’s opinions, ultimately your wedding day is all about you and your fiancé.  Don’t get hung up on the opinions of other people who’ve done it all before.  This is your wedding! This is your opportunity to choose. Sure, you might get a little bit of a weird look when you opt to carry balloons instead of a bouquet, but who cares? Choose what will make your day memorable and be happy with your decision.  You have many choices to make so choose YOUR choice! You’ll be happy that you did; I was!

So come on – spill it.  What choices are you making or have made that raised some eyebrows?

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Who is Heather? Name Change Express’s new blogger!!

November 15th, 2009

 

Hi, I’m Heather; wife of Tom and dog-mom to Coach and Moo.  It’s been just more than one year since Tom and I got married on a sunny day in October in a small, intimate ceremony with 75 of our closest friends and family. While we’ve heard that the first year of marriage is harder than any other, we’re not naive to the fact that marriage takes work and that one, beautiful wedding day we’ll remember forever is just one day in a stream of hopefully (fingers crossed) many to come. But we did it! We survived the first year of marriage.  Luckily, we’re still very much in love but we’ve had more than our share of ups and downs!

Hi - this is me and my hubby!

Hi - this is me and my hubby!

So, what makes a marriage work?  I’m not entirely sure. Perhaps we should ask a couple who’s been married for at least 10, maybe 20 years. But, I think T and I have got a couple of ideas in mind which I’m happy to share through this blog. Before we get started with all that mushy stuff however, here’s a little about why I’m even telling you all this!

  • I’m the new blogger for www.namechangeexpress.com, the premier service to use to change your name, as you may already know because you’ve found the site!
  • I don’t claim to be an expert on marriage or weddings, but I’m willing to air my marital musings for your reading enjoyment.
  • I’m going to be updating Twitter and Facebook with the latest tips, trends and things you need to know about weddings and marriage.
  • I’ve been married for a year; so I can let you in on the little secrets that come with being married – (hint, it ain’t all pretty).
  • Plus, I love that I get to keep watching wedding shows, buying wedding magazines and talking about weddings and my husband can’t say anything bad about it at all.

So what’s your role in all this? Comment! Follow us on Twitter and Fan us on Facebook. We’ll be your sounding board for all things wedding and marriage related! I’m looking forward to writing more about life in the real world; post wedded bliss; things I wish I’d known and something’s I wish I’d forget. Being married is a wonderful experience but unfortunately there’s no guidebook.  Hopefully by sharing the reality of everyday life with all you Brides-to-be will help shed some light on your own marriages!

Thanks for reading and feel free to ask questions; I’m not shy!

heather

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Name change process can be easier for the modern bride

September 29th, 2009

The average age of a bride in this generation is somewhere between 27 and 29 years — a large increase than those of the earlier generation. So, while a bride in her early 20s might not be as established, today’s brides enter into marriages well into a career and with a solid history of interaction between institutions and businesses. Consequently, informing all of those institutions and businesses of a name change could be a harrowing task if one does not have the answers to the right questions regarding the name change process.

Here are some of those questions and answers:

When can I change my name?

Most believe that you can change your name before you get married but that is not the case. In fact, you need a marriage certificate before filing for a name change. This official document is obtained from the county or country that you were married in, usually at the clerk’s office.

I have my marriage certificate, can I start my name change now?

Maybe. First a quick question: Have you gone on your honeymoon yet? If not, I’d suggest you wait until you do because you will need your passport for international travel and you probably do not want to be in the middle of a name change application at that time.

If you’ve already returned from your travels and are going to be in one place for a while, it is probably a great time to start your name change.

Ok, I’m ready for my name change. What’s first?

First up is changing your name with the Social Security Administration and then following it up with other governmental agencies:
-Department of Motor Vehicles (Drivers license)
-US Passport Agency (Passport)
-Internal Revenue Service — Although, I’m sure you wouldn’t be sad if they thought you disappeared
-US Postal Service (Mail)
-Voter Registration

That’s it? That seems fairly simple.

Hardly. First of all, keep in mind that each agency will require you to fill out a different form and submit it to different offices. Secondly, What about all the other companies you do business with?

Other?…Companies?

-Do you have a checking account? Savings? Money Market? Are they at same bank?
-How many credit cards do you have? Don’t forget store cards too.
-What about investment accounts? 401k’s? IRA’s?
-What about mortgage and loans? Home? Auto? Business?
-If you own a home and car, you have homeowners and car insurance, don’t you? What about life insurance?
-Don’t forget about all your utilities — electricity, gas, water, etc.
-Then there’s communication and entertainment companies — Internet, Satellite, Cable TV, Telephone, Cellular phone
-Do you subscribe to magazines? You have to change your name with them too.
-How about loyalty programs like airlines, hotels and car rental agencies?
-Are you professionally licensed? You might have to change your name on your license and certifications.

Lastly, don’t forget to let your employer know that you changed your name as well.

Wow. I didn’t think about all of that. That seems like it would take a lot of time and effort.

We’re not going to lie: It does take a lot of time to do it by yourself. This is exactly why we developed our Name Change Express service. It’s true that there are a lot of other name change kits and name change services out there and they do a good job of providing you templates of letters to send to these different places. But here’s the value the Name Change Express provides:

-We save you time – You don’t have to go the Social Security office and spend your time filling the forms there and then waiting in line again. Take the pre-filled form from your personalized guidebook and be out of the SSA office in minutes.

-We save you from the hard work – You don’t have to call each company and find out their name change process. Cut down the hours spent trying to reach customer service to find out how to perform a name change with each and every company because we have already done that for you.

-We save you money – Only Name Change Express goes the extra distance to provide you with instructions and addresses for each and every organization you do business with. Furthermore, if you can not find an organization on our list, submit it to us and we will add within a few business days and notify you so that you may complete your name change process.

Name Change Express sounds like the way to go for brides who are looking to change their name. How do I get started?

Easy. Get started here.

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Name Changes After Marriage – A Dying Trend?

September 4th, 2009

Hardly.  Changing your name after marriage is very much alive and the vast majority of women think wives should take their husband’s name after marriage according to a recent article from ABC News.  Check it out (some of the survey results that they report might surprise you):  http://abcnews.go.com/Business/brides-husbands-names-marriage/Story?id=8410832&page=1

According to two recent surveys, the majority of American women believe that newly married brides should take their groom’s name.  Researchers from Indiana University and the University of Utah found that 71% of the 850 people they surveyed nationally believed it is better for women to change their name upon marriage.  Also, about 50% of the respondents who were men and women between the ages of 18 to 90 thought it should be a legal requirement for a woman to change her name upon marriage.

The Knot Wedding Network conducted a significantly larger survey of 18,000 couples nationwide and found that 88% said they were planning to take their husband’s name.  Rebecca Dolgin, the executive editor of TheKnot.com, said that while she was surprised that the percentage of women who take their husband’s name was so high, that “…today there has been a little bit of a turn and women are saying that by taking my husband’s name I’m not giving in to anything and I’m still just as much a feminist as I ever was,” said Dolgin.  The survey respondents provided several reasons in support of changing their name to their husband’s, including the convenience of everyone in the family sharing the same name.

Chime in and let us know what you think.  Keep the maiden name or change it?  And should it be a legal requirement for a woman to change her name upon marriage?

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Changing Your Name After Marriage: Options to Consider

August 17th, 2009

Okay, so women in the US have been taking their husband’s last name after getting married for a long time. The statistics have generally pointed to 90-95% of women doing this. But for brides (and really couples) who don’t fancy the idea, there are many options – here is a list of the popular name change options (drum roll):

  • Both husband and wife use the husband’s last name - This is by far the most popular option in the United States.
  • Both husband and wife retain their last name - This option can be appealing, particularly for those who have established themselves professionally and don’t want to confuse their colleagues or clients.  But it can also cause some hassles since many friends and family members still often assume that your last names are the same.
  • Wife takes husband’s last name but retains her last name as her middle name – This option is also becoming popular.
  • Both husband and wife’s last names are combined and hyphenated – This option is gaining some popularity though some men do feel uncomfortable about adding their wife’s last name to theirs.
  • Both husband and wife use their wife’s last name – While this option is not commonly pursued, it can be appealing to couples who find the husband’s last name unappealing.
  • Husband and wife choose to take a new last name – While there are not too many couples that are choosing to pursue this option, it is certainly viable for couples who do not like either of their last names.
  • Both husband and wife use one another’s last names as their middle name and retain their last names – This option is generally considered a symbolic gesture that is offered as a compromise.

There are obviously numerous options with changing your name and deciding to do so is a big decision – one that should certainly not be taken lightly and is very much a personal decision.  This decision can be an emotional one for both husbands and wives so we recommend that you discuss your preferences before the big wedding day.  It will certainly help to understand one another’s thoughts in advance and to not automatically assume a particular course.

We at Name Change Express wish you the best with this big decision and are here to help if you need it – if you have any questions regarding your options, feel free to reach out to us.

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How Do I Change My Name?

July 13th, 2009

Changing a last name has been a long time tradition for many brides and newly married couples. But they’re not the only ones. Many other people change their name for reasons ranging from divorce or naturalization to cultural traditions. Whatever the case, if you live in the US and plan to change your name, be it from a maiden name to a new last name, we’d like to welcome you to our newly relaunched website at www.NameChangeExpress.com, including our recently revamped Name Change Services.

If you are one of those many brides who just had a wedding and now needs to change names, the Name Change Express team is here to help.

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