A couple of years ago my husband and I went to a beautiful, intimate wedding held in Vermont. We didn’t really know anyone at the wedding aside from the Bride and Groom, so we attempted to make friends at our table and succeeded. Nothing a couple cocktails didn’t help!

But the evening started to take a turn for the worst when the DJ (who shall remain nameless) started playing songs from his own agenda. Whether he took a cue from the semi-older crowd, or just thought he knew what it took to get the dance floor hopping, he had the wrong idea.  After a repeat of “And They Called It Puppy Love” – and no, I’m not joking – I decided to take matters into my own hands and approached the DJ.

“What are you doing?” I asked. “Can’t you see that no one – I mean no one is dancing? Whose playlist is this?”

He responded with a shrug.  I took this as a lesson learned and when planning my own wedding did copius amounts of research to find the most popular wedding appropriate songs to get the crowd engaged and dancing! It wasn’t as hard as it seemed!

Anyway, I asked the DJ if I could recommend a few songs to play and he agreed. Back at my table with the other guests’ input, we created an awesome wedding playlist that got everyone on their feet.  Don’t be afraid to tell your DJ what you want him to play.  It’s completely fine to create a list and ask him to stick to it, particularly if you know the crowd has long time favorites that will have them up and rocking!

Here’s a picture of my wedding guests in, that’s right, a chorus line to Frank Sinatra’s “New York, New York”.

New York - New York!!

It was on the list and one of the last songs that played. It was everyone’s favorite memory from our wedding, and one of mine too.

How can you not kick to this?

What was the first thing on your list as a newly married couple? You know, besides changing your name and opening all your gifts?

After all the fun stuff, my hubby and I got down to business. We set off to the bank with new IDs in tow and combined our checking accounts. This was just something we knew we were going to do. It came easy to us; our parents did it – we planned to do the same!

But interestingly enough, this isn’t something that every couple chooses to do! There’s not a right or wrong answer here, but it is imporant to ask the question. How will you manage your finances as a newly married couple? The common wedding vows include the words “for richer or for poorer”, but how often are those vows kept? More couples divorce because of sex and money than for any other reason. Talking about and being honest about money, money management, spending, saving, retirement, etc, etc, is so important to a new marriage.

Love? Money?

Some couples choose to maintain their own separate accounts for their own interests and needs and open a joint account for shared expenses. Some couples keep separate accounts – period.

On a personal note, as our two year anniversary approaches in October this year, my hubby and I have really had to put that ‘for richer or for poorer’ vow to the test. With the economy the way it is now it’s been difficult for my hubby to find a job. Thankfully we had talked about setting up joint savings accounts and sharing our money. I can’t imagine what we’d be doing now if we hadn’t.

Regardless of what you and your new hubby choose to do – talk about it. Understand each other’s financial habits before you make a decision – but remember; pay yourselves first. Always save a little bit of cash for those date nights together.

Interestingly, over the past 10 years fewer and fewer women have kept their maiden names.

Wow – this is an exciting new insight!! I thought it was moving in the opposite direction. But it seems that women are still opting to take their husband’s name after marriage! This is neither good or nor bad news, really, it’s just well, interesting.

Call it tradition – call it old fashioned – call it what you will, taking your husband’s name after marriage goes way back! All the way back to Biblical Times!

What were the reasons women changed their names even way back then?

1. Protection of family and wealth
2. Designation of a new life direction
3. Acknowledgement of God’s presence in and endorsement of the marriage 

Are these three things much different than the reasons we still change our names today? Not really. Particularly for reasons 1 and reasons 2. In fact, they are at times reasons why we may NOT choose to change our names at all.  Particularly as we, as a society, tend to wait longer and longer to get married; we’re already established in our careers, we have loans and cars and houses in our own names. Making a decision to change your name may cause a little bit of uproar, if you will, in our personal lives.

So – again, changing your name is a very PERSONAL decision and one that shouldn’t be entered into lightly, much like marriage.

But if you do choose to change your name, we can at least help save you valuable time. Check out our easy to follow steps to process your name change at namechangeexpress.com

Aggh! I was a bridesmaid in my friend Karen’s wedding a few years ago. As her Mom lovingly helped her step into her beautiful white gown, she stood behind Karen posed for picture to zip her into her dress. Zip, tug, pull, rip.

Saved the day.

 The zipper broke minutes before Karen needed to walk down the aisle. Surprisingly, the Bride did not freak out. Her Mother did – but that’s another story. I reached into my ‘bag of tricks’ and whipped out a sewing kit. Down on my hands and knees I threaded that needle as fast as Jack Bauer plotted against the bad guys. We were running out of time. Thankfully, I had taken a fashion class in College and stitched Karen into her dress. With half a spool of thread, a couple of pinpricks and many soothing words, we got her ready to walk down in the aisle in a few seconds. She looked beautiful.

That little incident made me understand the true Girl Scout values of being prepared. When my best friend Amanda took on role of Maid of Honor with my sister Stacey, they came prepared. Here is a special list of things you need in your “Wedding Day Emergency Kit”

• Sewing Kit – lots of white thread
• Band-Aids
• Deodorant
• Sponge (to clean off deodorant)
• Perfume
• Lipstick
• Tissues
• Mascara (Oh heck, toss in the make up bag)
• Toilet Paper (travel size)
• Lotion
• Make Up Remover
• Panty Hose
• Socks
• Pop Tarts (sustenance)
• Granola Bars
• Bottled Water
• Chalk – for stains on your dress
• Safety Pins
• Bobby Pins
• Hair Spray
• Mirror
• Tums
• Advil
• Imodium (You never know)
• Fabric Tape
• Lint Roller
• Clear nail polish
• Nail File
• Small scissors
• Tampons / Pads (Again, you never know)
• Earring backs
• Eye Drops

I could go on and on – but this is a huge list to start. Not creative or don’t have time to pull this all together? You can buy an Emergency Wedding Day kit from stores like Target for around $50 bucks. Worth every penny.

Here is a picture of Amanda’s “Bag of Tricks” It does not give you the full picture, but as you can see – our room the morning of was a mess – and almost everything that she brought that day came in handy!

It's the blue one on the floor...

Oh and Karen? Those little scissors came in handy too – when we had to cut her out of her dress.

 You can never be too prepared – especially on your wedding day.

Brides -
How did you decide where to have your wedding? What was the first decision you made? Since I’ve started blogging for NCE I’ve learned that there are so many amazing resources out there for brides to plan their Big Day! There seem to be far more than when I got married just a short while ago.

So, I want to know- what was the first thing you planned?

• Was it the date?
• The dress?
• Buy a magazine?
• Start a list?

There are so many things to do where do you even begin? Not to mention most of these things take a ton of time!

Are you planning to change your name after you say those magical words, “I do”?

Here’s a little tip from me to you: choose Name Change Express.

That' us!

We make it super easy to change your name after the wedding. You fill out one profile, tell us whom you need to inform, and we do the work for you.  Trust me. When I changed my name, it took me about 20 hours. Between trips to SSN, DMV, Banks, etc, etc, I wish I had known about NCE a few years ago.

So now I’m giving you the tips I never got: check us out!

Oh, and for those million other things on your list, follow these amazing wedding experts on twitter:

• twitter.com/cardboxdiva
• twitter.com/recycledbride
• twitter.com/kelimorris
• twitter.com/clubwedd
• twitter.com/getmarried
• twitter.com/weddzilla
• twitter.com/paulpannone
• twitter.com/relentlessbride
• twitter.com/stylemepretty
• twitter.com/chatterberries

As I shared in my last post, for the next few blogs we’ll be sharing the top wedding themed receptions and ideas.  For my hubby and I we swung the pendulum from both sides. Discussing our wedding reception ideas was like trying to figure out where to go to college; it wasn’t absolutely going to determine the rest of your life, but it was certainly something you’d be thinking about for years and years to come. So for us, it became a conversation about what kind of couple we were, what kind of feeling we wanted our guests to have and frankly, how much was this big shebang going to cost us.

One gorgeous and sometimes very inexpensive (or expensive) option is the Beach Wedding! Since Spring is just around the corner and I’m craving flip flops, I thought it would be fun to discuss!

Ahhh - to say I do here!

If you’re not an uber formal couple, the beach might be the way to go. Think about the beach; beautiful blue sky, gorgeous emerald ocean and soft cool sand. There are so many ways to go with it! Picture this:

It’s sunset. The temperature is a cool 70 degrees on a gorgeous summer evening. You, dressed in a gorgeous flowy but not to frilly gown, bare feet. Your fiance, cad in a khaki suit, blue tie, barefoot. Your guests, lined on either side standing to watch the beautiful unity of your marriage.  Beautiful hues of yellow, blue, green and pink sprinkle the flowers that stand on either side of you as the setting sun kisses the water just as you and your hubby say I do and share a first kiss as husband and wife.

Sounds nice right? I know!

It was one of our choices and while I wouldn’t change anything about our wedding – its something I’m wondering now…why didnt we choose this option?

That’s right – our option would have been to host a restaurant style reception overlooking the water. During beach season some of the popular places down the Jersey Shore would have cost us around $150 / person. That doesn’t include booze. Oh well. 

Picturesque sunset

But – there are ways to do it less expensively!

• Ask the restaurant if they have buffet options and opt for a smaller open bar.
• See if they’ll accomodate passed tapas and a speciality cocktail.
• Opt for an afternoon wedding and serve lighter fare.
• Get married just before or just after beach season; the prices are nearly cut in half.

There are also gorgeous ways to accessorize your wonderful beach wedding no matter how formal!

Theknot.com has some amazing insight into choosing the dress, venue, colors, flowers and cake for a beach wedding.

getmarried.com has a great blog on “Life is a Beach” which has beautiful pictures of beach weddings done right!

So – while you’re at the beach this summer, think about what it would be like to hold your own wedding there – or, if you’ve already booked, start to plan out renewing your vows! Either way, make your wedding your own – let it reflect the couple you are and enjoy every moment. Like the sunset, it’s beautiful, but it’s over far too fast.

My gown! Want to buy it?

My husband and are plotting our next LCE (life changing event). Don’t get any ideas, no baby talk-yet. But we are considering…a massive yard sale! It’s time to clean house – Spring is coming and we have a lot of stuff including a ton of leftover wedding ‘stuff’.  So, we need to go through three plus years of our collective ‘we’re a new married couple’ stuff and decide what to keep, toss, donate or sell. It’s harder than it seems.  Trust me.

Our first line of attack are online sales and figuring out what can be sold through eBay and various other sites.  I’ve made the difficult decision to sell my gown. Let’s be honest. I’m not going to wear it again and beautiful as it was my sister probably won’t either. Sadly.   So after much deliberation I opted to sell.  I recently came across a site that can be considered the eBay of brides- www.recycledbride.com.  I found out about the site through Twitter and the Owner and CEO, Tracy, is a delight!  My dress is now available on her sight awaiting any bids. I’m excited to see if it can sell and I’ll share my experience here!

I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.  In the meantime check out @recycledbride on Twitter and visit the site for more information!

You're fired. But can we still be friends?

Remember that moment when you asked your best friend or sister to be your maid of honor?  This coveted title of MOH is one that many women can’t wait for.  Personlly, I’ve yet to be asked (but know my day will come), other people may have been asked multiple times…like my best  friend who probably could have starred in the movie 27 Dresses.

My sister has been asked twice: my wedding and her best friend – we’ll call her Julie.

Julie’s life is notably different than my sisters but they’ve remained friends through it all; divorce, baby, and now Julies engagement.  My sister set about in her MOH duties the way a good MOH does: planning the shower, dress shopping, bridal gown consulting, conversing with the other ‘maids, etc.  So, it came as a quite shock to my little sis when she recieved a call from Julie that went like this:

Julie: “Giving you the title MOH has made me assess our friendship. I don’t feel were as close as we once were and well, Craig and I would prefer if you came to our wedding as a guest instead of my MOH.”

Of course there’s more backstory here but the fundamental jist is that my poor sister…got fired.

The silver lining, and of course I always look for one, is that she was going to have to put out a good sum of money to participate in this wedding and now she didn’t have to. The ‘maids were opting for a Shower that “set the tone” for the wedding which would have cost each of them around $500. While one may love their friend and want to give them the best, this is not a small price to pay. 

Toss that in with the other expenses that come along with being in a wedding and you’re looking at around $1,000 or more.

• Shower: $500.00,
• Dress: $150
• Shoes: $50
• Hair / Make up: $75
• Gifts: $200
• Miscelleaneous: $100

Granted, it wouldn’t be fair to say that my sister felt ‘relieved’ when she was let off the hook, but considering she’s nearing the end of grad school, that money can be better spent. 

All that in mind – she’s still trying to salvage a friendship with Julie and is considering going to the wedding.  How would you have reacted? Would you still want to be friends? Would you still go to the wedding?