When I asked my girlfriend to marry me, there were understandably a few things going through my mind:
- Would she say yes?
- Would she like the ring?
- What is going to change?
Engaged!!
My girlfriend, then fiancée, now wife, said yes, loved the ring and set about on a 10-month planning journey to create our perfect day. So what changed? A lot of things actually. We were still the same; but there were these exciting and sometimes tough questions to answer!
- When should we get married?
- Who will be in our wedding party?
- How much will your parents chip in?
- Will we combine our finances? And…
- Are you going to change your name?
My answer to the last question was yes, please do! From my perspective giving my name in marriage to the woman I want to spend my life with, raise a family with, and sit on the porch swing with, well into my grey old age was a gift! Here, with this ring accept my love, fidelity and my name!
To me, having Heather accept my name created a sense of bond – both legally and familial. I don’t think she would feel less married to me by keeping her own name, but you know how little girls grow up writing Mrs. Someone all over their pink notebooks? I wanted her to be able to do the same and for a long, long time.
Therefore, brides, ask your fiancé what they think about the name change question. You may be surprised what you hear. And if you need help with the name changing process, were here to help!
It’s good to see the man’s perspective. I think that in some cases it’s ok for the woman to keep her name, as in, if she doesn’t the family name will not be carried on, but this only works if her name is given to the children. I’m not a big fan of the hyphenated name. Call me old fashioned but I think the woman should take her husband’s name and wear it with pride for as long as you are married. I think it’s a loving gesture and I’m proud to bear my husband’s name for the last 31 years!!