Archive for December, 2009

First the chicken then the ring?

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

First comes the chicken, and then comes the ring?

It’s Engagement Season, but you can, for sure, hurry it along. I stumbled upon this article a few years back and I honestly cannot remember how I found out about it or who sent it to me, but I had to share. The recipe is quite simple, a roasted chicken stuffed with lemons; a little salt and pepper –that’s it! It creates a juicy, tender and flavorful meal that anyone is sure to appreciate and enjoy. But that’s not the fun part. The best part of this entire recipe is the urban wedding myth that follows. Supposedly, if you’re in the market for a ring, serving up this delicious meal sets the ball in motion. Engagement chicken. Genius.

I know what you’re thinking and YES. Yes, I made this chicken for my boyfriend. I’m not ashamed. I made it for him after we’d been dating for about four months, so maybe it was a tad premature. But, it was a meal he absolutely devoured, and it may have also been the chocolate cake I made for dessert, but it was a meal that he still says, helped him fall in love with me. 

Chicken then the ring?

So does it work? There are many women out there who say yes, yes it does work! It didn’t work for me right away, but it worked about 2.5 years later (which is probably best considering we still had a lot to learn about one another). You want my opinion? I think when you put effort and love into preparing a home cooked meal for your guy, he sees you not as ‘just a girlfriend’, but a loving woman capable of caring, love, warmth and creating a home; maybe even a home for the two of you! So what comes first, the chicken or the ring? You can’t force nature, but when your guy sees the love and effort you put into creating a yummy meal for him, maybe he’ll start thinking wedding bells…or at least left-overs. Either way, it’s going to work if it’s meant to be. So give it a try. Even if you’re not a foodie, it’s a super simple recipe that will wow him. Best of luck ladies!

Engagement Chicken

1 whole chicken (approx. 3 lb.)

2 medium lemons

Fresh lemon juice (1/2 cup)

Kosher or sea salt

Ground black pepper

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set aside some non wedding planning time!

Saturday, December 19th, 2009

Since I’ve started this gig as blogger for NCE I’ve been toting around my blackberry like an extra appendage. Don’t get me wrong, I love being connected, the world wide web at my manicured fingertips and all that jazz. But there was a time the other night, in the middle of my favorite TV show, that my hubby, lovingly though it may have been, put his hand on my pecking thumbs and said, “Ok, put it down. We need some non-blackberry time.”

Wide-eyed and embarrased, like I’d been caught stealing cookies, I said, “What? I didn’t hear you.”. Uh oh.

So, this whole scenario took me right back to wedding planning days when I was, well, you could say I was obsessed with planning our nuptials. These were pre-blackberry days, thankfully, and I was more obsesseed with spreadsheets, to do lists and the like than I was about my new fiance. I quickly learned, however, how important the “engagement” period is to your new lives together. Planning your wedding is an amazing experience that helps you grow closer with friends and family involved. But it can also be incredibly stressful and all consuming if you let it.

That said, my advice to all you blushing brides out there is this: set aside some precious time with your fiance where wedding talk is prohibited. Allow yourself some time to enjoy being engaged without the stress of linens, colors, flowers and invitations. You’ll miss these days when you’re an old married woman like me.

I’m kidding. I’m not old-yet. But I am married.

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My favorite five things to register for!

Monday, December 14th, 2009

Considering it’s the most wonderful time of the year to get engaged, I thought I’d draw upon my own experience and impart a little knowledge about my favorite top five things to register for. How do I know, you ask? Well, it’s been a year and a half and these are the top five things still in use in our house.

Why do we register for gifts? Why do we buy gifts from a registry? The whole purpose of this multi-billion dollar industry of wedding registries is to allow the couple to build their ‘nest’ on their own terms. While money is generous and fine in a pinch, receiving a beautifully wrapped and generous gift that you’ve already picked out is well, it’s fun.

It takes the guess work out of it for your guests and it ensures (to some degree) that you’ll actually get what you want and need.

So here they are:

Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer

A Kitchen Aid Stand mixer –

It doesn’t matter if you’re not a foodie. This genius of an invention makes your life so incredibly easy, you won’t be able to imagine life before it. From brownies to mashed potatoes, this amazing mixer will steal your heart and impress even the toughest of critics.

Everyday dishes –

Registering for fine China is great; you’ll pull it out on Thanksgiving and around the Holidays, but admit it. It’s too nice to reheat Chinese food on, which is why it’s called fine China. Register for a set of dishes that you can use everyday – for impromptu dinner parties, having your in-laws over for a homemade dinner, and that same night when you’ve undercooked the pork loin and made lumpy mashed potatoes and need to order Chinese. Not that I speak from experience or anything.

towels

New towels –

- Admit it, we’ve all held on to those college towels for too long. When you and your fiancé moved in together or move in together, you’ll look at those stringy, dingy towels with disdain. Treat yourself to a dozen or more new towels, hand towels and wash cloths.

Crate and Barrel gift cards –

Yes. You can register for gift cards and you’ll be happy that you did. After the wedding when you’re all settled in and have returned some of the things you registered for because you realized you don’t have the room or you changed your mind, these amazing, never expiring and always fun to spend gift cards will make even the most mundane of errand days fun.

Home Depot gift cards –

- Yep – even Home Depot has a wedding registry. I know, took me a while to believe it too. If you’ve bought your dream home in place of an expensive wedding, like, say, me, you’re more concerned about laying that new granite countertop than you are a new set of China. And these things stretch far beyond the imagination can allow; new closets, ceiling fans, washer / dryer, dishwasher, you name it, you can buy it there.

So there you have it – my favorite things to register for. Whatever you decide to register for, make it fun, and make it about your new life together and most of all make sure you get a gift receipt.

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til’ debt do we part?

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009
I do promise...to pay off this wedding...

I do promise...to pay off this wedding...

I was having a little trouble sleeping tonight and started flipping through the channels in an effort to find something boring enough to lull me into a sound slumber. But I came across a really interesting show on CNBC called “Til Debt Do Us Part”  and I was immediately intrigued. I quickly became aware that the show was to help debt-ridden couples eliminate the debt they’ve accumulated together; some as high as $100,000. Hearing that was like taking a bullet. Yikes.

It got me thinking about one of the main reasons that couples divorce; money! Many of the couples on this show accumulated their debt as single people and continued poor money management habits when they said ‘I do’. Considering this is one of the top reasons for divorce, couples considering marriage should strongly consider having a conversation about how they’ll manage their bills. And it can start with the planning of the wedding. The average cost of a wedding can run couples (or Moms and Dads) $25,000 – $30,000. While this isn’t the case for everyone, for the most part, my husband and I paid for our wedding on our own. Fortunately or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, the same year that we got engaged, we spent $30,000 purchasing our dream home and that left very little for a wedding. We immediately put ourselves on a savings plan so that during our 10 month engagement, we’d have enough to pay for our wedding in full. And while our wedding budget fell well below the average cost of a wedding, it was everything we wanted it to be without really sacrificing much. For us, the fact that we had a great house and a great start together was more important than that one special day.

My point is, that marriage is a constant compromise and compromises can start well before the vows are said. That one wedding day is important and memorable, sure – but are the next five years spent paying off the wedding really worth it? It’s something to think about.

I’m reminded of a friend of mine, whose father said to her upon hearing about her engagement, “I’ve got $30,000 saved for your wedding but I’d like to offer an alternative. I’ll give you the $30,000 to put a down payment on a house and I’ll fly you to Vegas to get married. Or, you can have the $30,000 for your dream wedding. You pick.”

It was the most beautiful wedding I’ve ever been to; stunning. And as the couple enters their fifth year of marriage and usher in a new milestone, their baby girl, they’re setting up her nursery in the dining room of their one bedroom apartment.

Everyone has to make their own decisions – but discussing matters like this with your fiance, will help you both align on your priorities – personally, financially and more importantly as a newly married couple.

 

a very, very, very fine house

a very, very, very fine house

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an MOH misfire…

Saturday, December 5th, 2009

A few days ago I wrote about my sister and her MOH dilemma: should she

a) Speak up as MOH to protect herself and fellow ‘maids from the Bridesmaid dress that looked like a chocolate bar exploded on a pumpkin?

Or

b) Keep her mouth shut and be the loyal MOH she wanted to be.

Well, as you’re aware, she chose ‘a’ and ‘addressed the dress’. Well my friends, it backfired. I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel confident approaching your lovely bride-to-be with subtle recommendations and thoughts, but tread lightly. In this case, the bride was a tad grouchy.

It went kind of like this:

Bride: “I don’t feel that you’re being supportive of my choices. I understand that you may not like the color, but it’s my wedding and I love it. Besides, the other Bridesmaids love it.  You don’t know what it will look like on you until you try it on, so I don’t see how you can form an opinion until you do that. It hurt my feelings that you said you thought the color was bad.”

MOH: “I’m sorry, I was simply offering you a perspective you might not have considered.”

Bride: “You’re supposed to be supportive of me as my MOH and I felt like you were against me.”

MOH: “I’m sorr-”

Bride: “I’m under enough stress as it is and I don’t need you to tell me that you don’t like a color that I’ve chosen. It’s my wedding and I can choose anything that I want!”

MOH: “I’m…”

Bride: “You should apologize to me.”

MOH: “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll wear a trash bag if you ask me too.”

Bride: “You think the dress looks like a trash bag?!”

MOH: Audible sigh….”No, what I meant was….”

And it went on.  So – how can you bounce back from an MOH misfire? When you agree to be in a wedding, should you just agree to agree, nod and smile at the Bride and Groom’s every whim?  The Knot.com says that there’s, “no real etiquette on how much a bride should involve her bridesmaids in the choosing of dresses…”. Does this mean that what the Bride says, goes?  I’ve given this a lot of thought and I think that it all comes down to the relationship you have with the Bride.  She has asked you to be her MOH or Bridesmaid which means, you’re, hopefully, very good friends or even family. My advice is this:

  1. Ask the Bride if she’d like help choosing colors and styles that might look good on everyone. She may say yes and then you’ve got the upper hand in the dress selection department. But remember; she makes the final call.
  2. If the Bride selects something that you’re not a super huge fan of, tell her, “This is a great choice and I’m happy to wear anything you’d like me too, but I recall seeing another <style, color, shape> that may look better on me; you know I gotta hide my hips!” Insert laugh and you’ve got friendly feedback.
  3. If all else fails, she is the Bride. You should agree, nod, smile and wear the dress. Its only one day – and you can return the favor in your own wedding. :)

How have you handled this situation in the past?

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sometimes she spells the hyphen

Tuesday, December 1st, 2009

Do you remember doodling on your notebook as a little kid? Mrs. Jordan Knight, Mrs. Knight. Mrs. Smith-Knight. (You remember Jordan, right? Cute singer from New Kids on the Block? Dont know about you, but everyone in my fifth grade class wanted to marry him.) So it got me thinking – as little girls we doodle our future Mrs. Somebody names, but when it comes down to it, are we ready to make that all important, very legal and tough to reverse name change?

Since Heidi Klum recently changed her name to Heidi Samuel after four years of marriage to Seal, I discovered that she’s one of very few celebrities who has legally changed her name. Most celebrities opt to hyphenate their names – so I looked into it.

Robin Wright-Penn

Ashlee Simpson-Wentz

Rebecca Romijn-Stamos

Pamela Anderson-Lee

You get the idea. But what’s the point of hyphenating your name? Do you legally have to change your name to hyphenate it? The answer is yes. So there is just as much legal mumbo-jumbo for adding a hyphen to your name as there is simply taking his name. And yet, many celebrities and your everyday average Janes choose to do it for many reasons, most of them professional. Perhaps you’re well known in your work circles by your maiden name. Why confuse the masses? This creates an interesting option though; can you have his name and keep yours too? Keeping your maiden name in your professional circles and taking his for social circles may cause some questions. Doesn’t this also cause some serious confusion when someone wants to get something monogrammed for you?

So you’ve got yet another choice to make. Do they ever stop? No. They don’t – and that’s the fun part.

This is my favorite quote from the movie “BIG” with Tom Hanks. I thought it was appropriate given the topic. Enjoy.

 Susan: It happened again. David, the girl is absolutely useless. You’ve gotta get me someone who knows what she is doing. Excuse me. I’m not getting any of my mail, nothing has been filed. Ever since she got engaged, my life has been a disaster.
Personnel Director: You know, she came so highly recommended.
Susan: She spent the last three months writing down her married name. “Mrs. Judy Hicks”, “Mrs. Donald Hicks”; “Mrs. Judy Mitchellson Hicks”, sometimes with a hyphen, sometimes without a hyphen. SOMETIMES, SHE SPELLS THE HYPHEN.

 

Whatever you decide to do, we’re here to help and we make it easy on you, hyphen or no hyphen. Anyone out there have any comments on what they chose to do?

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